Scared-y Cat

Its a sunday and I should probably be out having some fun so that I dont crib
about wasting the only off I am to have for one whole week.

I know I should, particularly when I want to find more of the likes of me to hang out with, because sadly most people out there dont even get my humour.

(All my friends, being smarter, knew what this city would come to, have fled, without one backward glance.)

So anyway.

This has also been my fate lately when it came to meeting men, my parents "think" are just the right guys for me.
Its upsetting really.

My mother, on the other hand, begs to disagree. She says I should learn to respect other people's choices in life and their sense of humour.
I fail to see the connection.
But I will choose to keep quiet, it being my mom and all.

Anyway, the last experiment was a semi disaster, and it placed me in a situation where I had no control, so I'm scared to make any more attempts like that.

I choose to retrospect instead. Its potentially less scary, or atleast I think.

So, I think about things and about the men in my life and I think I can do better.
I also figure, that sometimes we have to take things the way they come,
and if you exercise too much caution, life's purpose is defeated.

I also figured that I'm not making too many memories now
as I'm too cautious in everything I do.
Which makes me really sad.

I used to be happy. Meeting people made me happy.
To correct myself, meeting informative people made me very happy.
They had so much to tell. and I, like a sponge, absorbing new information.
Its my food for life. Whatever be the source.
And caution, was a word I had never heard of.

But now, I am like that extinct russian dinosaur, who watches each step she takes,
lest it turns fatal.
Since when did I turn into a scaredy cat?